The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
