When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
