bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
