We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
