Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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