you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your penis caused this!
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