You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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