Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
