i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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