Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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