i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
