We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
