i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ok first of all what the fuck
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
