This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize