i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
