Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
