Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
