Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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