the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there's paper in my vomit.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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