I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
