she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
