this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
