What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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