what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
