I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
