i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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