I can't breathe out the right side of my face
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Randomize
