Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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