I will die if light touches me.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
