i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
