laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
