Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
