people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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