Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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