My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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