So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
