Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
