What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize