ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
