I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We talked him into tasing himself.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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