My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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