I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize