Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
