I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize