I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize