the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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