I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
