My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
