So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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