I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My bed smells like the plague
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