The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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