We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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