I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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