Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
