dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
