i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize