I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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