Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize