BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize