I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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