Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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