I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
