u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
