That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
