Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
