How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize